Why am I saying this? For the first time in my whole life, I know exactly what I want. I thought I had before, I thought I had found my way, but now? Right this instant as I’m typing this? I know without question, reserve, or mystery. What I am feeling right now is the most pure feeling I’ve ever had in my whole life, and I can’t describe how much I enjoy it.

I want to ride that rollercoaster, cherish in the high points, sail thru the low points, and experience every moment inbetween. More importantly? I know I want to share that journey. Most importantly? I know with who.

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face, after a day yesterday where I hit a low point. For those who know me, it tears me up inside to know I hurt someone… and yesterday? I did, and it killed me. A low point in the rollercoaster indeed. I couldn’t sleep for crap, it kept me up thinking, wondering, hoping for better… Then I finally crashed from exhaustion, woke up, and suddenly… I knew. I knew it was a new day, new hopes, new dreams, renewed faith, and I smiled.

Here is to a brighter tomorrow, cause we’ve got a long climb to the next peak.

I just love getting threats from people who don’t even know me, know who I am, or know anything about me. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Oh, and it makes for GREAT fun for my comic relief notebook Oye, another day done, another one to come. Can’t believe some people these days…

The comment in question? A comment posted to my “Something I need to say…” post I made a little while back. A post thanking people who have been in my life, and getting back in touch with people. (Which ironically, facebook has helped me do more than I could ever have imagined). The comment? Glad you asked:

I had this guy who looked a lot like you trying to get close to my wife about 4 years ago. He even had the balls to show up at my house while I was at work and lie to her about asking me if it was OK first. He was totally hung up on her from a friendship they had in the past and was lonely and desperate, so he was hounding after a married woman.

Yesterday, while playing some computer games with my wife I saw his profile pop up on her Facebook. Obviously, I was surprised to see his profile on her page, as the “relationship” she had with him previously had almost ended our marriage. You see, she has asked me to remove all of the female classmates of mine from my Facebook page, which I did reluctantly, so to see someone on hers that was the cause of so much stress in our marriage blew me away.

I confronted my wife about it today and she said that it had been 4 years since she had talked to him and that was all in the past. He is still single. He is still searching for love. He is still desperate so in my mind, he is still dangerous to our marriage.

I think that it would be best for my wife and him he he just go away for as long as we are married as it will continue to be something that bothers and stresses me out. If the day comes and we ever split for any reason at all, then I am sure my wife will do what she pleases and contact whom she pleases but if that even happens and until then, stay the Fuck away. Got it?

First off, let me admit it. Yup, I showed up at your house while you weren’t there, to see a friend I had known for 10 years. We didn’t do anything wrong, we just talked… caught up on old times, whatever. Sure, you’re going to say “oh but I heard such and such from so and so”, yea, well, you’re wrong. Moreover, I never pretended at all that I had your permission to visit, nor would I think it necessary to obtain as a marriage doesn’t involve one person running the aspects of the others life… But maybe I’m not as old fashion.

Anyway, since that fateful visit, and the issue that then happened with your marriage, I have kept my distance, I didn’t even speak to my friend these past 4 years out of respect for her attempting to save her marriage after you got all overreacting. 14 years I have known your wife, since before you were even in her life, and I put all that friendship aside because I respect what she wants.

I’m not desperate, I’m not a danger to your marriage… Hell, if anything, your over reacting is going to cause more harm than good in this matter. Perhaps you should do a reality check? Think about what it is exactly that’s hurting your marriage, look long and hard in the mirror, and question deep down within yourself before you answer that too.

At any rate, I’ve got nothing to hide, I’m not going to sit by idly and make you think “oh hey, I got to say something so profound he won’t even approve the comment on his site!”. (Question though, after 4 years, you still remembered my website? Amusing…)

Anyway, in closing, go ahead and post whatever you like, I’ve got nothing to hide, and nothing to be afraid of. My life is more in order than you give credit, and you’ll only find yourself looking like the business end of a cow.