Peoii’s Place

I sat down tonight, curled up with a couple cats, and watched a movie. Sounds rather relaxing yes? You have no idea… “What movie?” would be a very valid question, and the answer: Gladiator. I havn’t watched the movie since the first time I saw it shortly after my wonderful sister bought it for me on DVD for my birthday some years ago. I remembered enjoying the movie, and thinking it had a great story line, but I couldn’t remember the specifics, so I figured tonight was a good time to watch it again. Boy was that the right choice.

You see, I now realize that movie falls into a category that few movies really do for me. The category being “movies that require a second time to fully appreciate”. It was good the first time, but the second time, I’m man enough to admit, I cried. It was a very moving film, and to say that it didn’t churn emotions in me would be a complete lie. I felt as though I wanted to help out with what was going on, I could feel the draw to do something, and it spured forth in me a sense of great loss when I was left helpless like those spectating in the film.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just very emotional right now, or maybe it just finally clicked in my head as to exactly what the movie meant. But this I will say for certain, it was the right choice of movie tonight.

Inspirational? Yes, it has filled me with a drive towards something great. What? Sorry folks, for now, that’s a secret… But soon my friends, soon.

Until the next post, I leave you with a quote from the movie which has my brain churning:

There was a dream that was Rome. You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish, it was so fragile. - Marcus Aurelius

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I’ve been doing a great measure of organizing in my life of late. Lots of thoughts, lots of questions, lots of “need to figure this shit out” type things… It’s driven me to not be on things like ICQ & AIM, or to be responding much to my normal flow of email. Reason? When I do speak up, I want the words to be my own, without influence of something else, or as to come out overly emotional.

I’m writing this update to the website to attempt to explain this to the world, and even now, I question the words I’m placing into this textbox as being truely what I’m trying to say. But never the less, I’m giving it my best, because I don’t want people overly concerned about me. I’m just working thru some tuff things in my mind right now, and need some space and time to get them all sorted out.

For those who have been trying to contact me, I’m sorry for not getting back to you sooner. However, I’m going to leave this option out there as an available option for all people to contact me. You can always email me at peoiiREMOVE@THISmyrealbox.com (simply remove out the capital letters). Why is email prefered? Cause I can think thru what I’m trying to say, and not just blurt out something I’d later come to regret. I ask only that of anyone who wants to contact me… Just give me the time think things thru.

Soon enough, I’ll be back up and running in my own mind, and from there, things will proceed forward quite well I feel.

Thanks for understanding.

P.S.: To all those out there who’ve helped me in the past, I’d just like to say for the official record. Thank you. This list includes but is not limited to:

My Mom
My Sister
My Dad
Stephanie M.
Nonny & Bappa
Melissa H.
Seth & Liz
The whole Ense et Aratro Gang
Mindi
My friends from High School (who btw: if you’re reading this and havn’t emailed me, my address is there, and you better! )

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Sorry for the melodramatic intro, but I couldn’t think of a more fitting title to what I’m going to talk about today. As many of you have probably heard by now, there was a bombing in London. I’ve been reading up on it as I get the chance, visiting sites like News.Com’s Coverage and Times Online for multiple viewpoints into this catastrophe, and in the end, the only feeling going thru my head is one of sickness. Let me explain.

I keep asking myself one very basic question (that is the bane of every parent ever on the planet)… “Why?” Why would an organization do something like this? Why would someone want to bomb innocent people? Why choose London of all places? Why Why Why Why Why? And then I started needing to fill in the answers to those questions which were driving me mad… And I came to a quick, and decisive reality. Yes, the group responsible had a reason for it. Will we ever truly understand it the way they do? No. But let here’s what I realized that might help out others with these many “why” questions…

A) London is a central hub for a great many things on the world wide stage. And in the eyes of some organization who would be out to cause panic, what better location in Europe than probably one of its most flaunted cities. This comes as no real surprise to me that it would have been chosen as the target, especially seeing how other attacks (namely the a certain one on September 11th) were targeted not at the most strategic places, but at the most boasted locations.

B) For many many years, Britain effectively controlled a great many countries around the world as part of their empire. So what do we have as a result of this? Odds are very good there are many small groups out there who hold a deep seeded hatred towards the Isle for this. I mean lets not beat around the bush here people… The queen of England was the empress of India! She never even went there… This can’t be expected to sit very well with people of a region. Sure, over time feelings would have been suppressed, but things like that are not simply forgotten. Hell, there are still religious wars going on over things that happened over 2000 years ago. It’s amazing how long the memory of a culture is.

C) When it comes to allies, Britain makes no question in anyones mind that they’ve got close ties with the United States, and for all intensive purposes, the USA is probably one of the most loathed countries on the face of the planet by many fundamentalist groups. But they couldn’t attack the USA again directly, that’d just be summed up to a “copy-cat” group, or some other trivial thing. So they chose to target one of the countries the USA calls friend. Am I saying that they this attack was indirectly aimed at the USA, and that they had no reason for attacking Britain on its own? No. I’m simply pointing out the relationship that does indeed exist, and crossed my mind… Believe me when I say, I don’t think this attack had anything to do with the USA, I’m just attempting to cover all bases.

So now you’ve heard my mind attempting to figure it out. These statements are still being worked thru in my head, and in the end, I doubt I’ll ever fully understand the reasoning behind it. However, I can say this with the utmost of certainty:

“To all those out there who were affected by this tragedy, I pass on my deepest thoughts and hopes for the safety of your friends, family, and loved ones. May you and yours make it out with as little of loss as possible, and whatever loss you do suffer, know that there are people out in the world who are mourning with you. You are not alone.“

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